damik's Diaryland Diary

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When. I called when!

I don't want to die.
I just don't want to be anymore.
I don't want to exist.
I feel worn down.
Dragged 'round
Deflated.
This will make it better because I will have control again.
I will have feelings again.
I can say 'That there, that feeling is pain'.
Not this endlessness I am feeling right now.
153 d 10 h and I just don't want to do another day.
Why is it harder to not do something?
To not bleed.
To not hurt.
Why is it harder to heal?
I have been white knuckling it for a long time now.
It isn't worth fighting.
Maybe it will find the words I cannot find.

11:27 p.m. - 10-07-13
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older entries:

When. I called when! - 11:27 p.m. , 10-07-13

Intrusive - 3:31 p.m. , 09-12-13

It isn't working today. - 2:21 p.m. , 09-09-13

Sleep, SI, Stress, and Pain, yeah, I hit them all. - 4:46 p.m. , 08-09-13

I hate this game. I don't want to play anymore. - 2:59 p.m. , 05-29-13