damik's Diaryland Diary

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I want to feel wanted

I try to respect his privacy, but its hard for me. He has given me reason not to. It dawned on me, if he was just curious, why would he fill out a profile. I signed on the service as a visitor and you can look at pics of other members with out joining. I don't know if he logged in when he signed up though. He had to wait to get the email, and it hadn't been opened when I looked at it. I shouldn't have opened it, I know, I think I thought it was just spam and I was going to delete it for him. He gets a lot of Spam.

Also if he was just curious why would he have filled out the profile in such detail?

When I tried to check it out, one, I didn't use my real email, two, I didn't fill out the unnecessary info like he did, you know height, weight, etc. Three, I didn't actually fill out the about me box or where it asks what I'm looking for. He actually put "Meaningless sexxx.." I guess sex with me isn't meaningless enough, though it would seem so.

I went to his work today, I don't know why. He was sleeping. I just needed to be outside the house. I just needed to be somewhere else. So I went driving and I ended up there. I sat there watching people go on with there lives, tears running down my cheeks. I feel like I don't have a place. I need to be good enough for him. Why am I not good enough for him?

I should just go home, but I need to feel better. I want to talk to someone. Its no wonder I feel all alone. I am all alone. I wished I had some one. I don't have anyone I can confide in. So here I sit confiding in my computer and the 274 some-odd people who have visited my sight. I don't know what that makes me.

I want to feel wanted, I need to feel needed.

12:26 a.m. - 05-24-2001
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