damik's Diaryland Diary

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Getting back to my roots

So I still haven't talked to the state yet, I'm dragging my feet, big time. I'm still so sure I'd be wasting everyone elses time, and cause more harm then good.
But the thing is, my leaving isn't changing anything. Actully it's insuring that the changes probably won't happen, Sure I could hope that with their re-certifing with Mandt would make them understand more, but considering how much it helped them the first time.
I think I've stated before, I'm a woman of inaction.
Actully I had begun to worry if I was capable of forward motion at all. Or if when ever I even considered something progressive, I will just turn and run.
I get discouraged because everything stays the same, but in fact I'm keeping it that way. Ensuring that I'll always be where I am now, because I'm afraid of what's next maybe? Because I wasn't supposed to get this far to begin with, so why go further? I don't know. I hate that things never change but am afraid that they will.
I dyed my hair brown. Seven years as a red-head, and I decided to get back to my roots.

10:33 p.m. - 08-22-02
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