damik's Diaryland Diary

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Plans

Well I didn't hear anything about the re-cert, I don't know if that's a good sign or not. It was a basicly boring day. We went to look for Halloween costumes today, we didn't find anything that really thrilled us, but.... Trevor wants to be a knight or maybe an amazon.... I don't know, I'm trying to picture him going out in public in drag, thankfully I can't. Hopefully I don't have to experence the actull thing. Yipes. I want to go as a wench, I already have the glorious cleavage bra I just need the wenches clothes to go with it. I only hope we get to go out to a party or something. I haven't done anything for Halloween sence I was shuned and ridiculed in eighth grade for going trick or treating with my little brother and sister. Not for lack of trying though the next year I got all dressed up for a family party we never went to. The year after that... Oh what was it that year, oh, yah I did do something I went to the "Monster Mash" at school. I've tried to block it out, because the only way I can explain it is to say it was a sordid high school messed up relationship thing. Blech. All I can say is don't double with a couple whent the other guy is some one you've had a crush on for like four years. The year after that I got all dressed up only to sit in my bedroom crying because I had nothing to do. The year after that I got all dressed up only to sit in Trevor's room crying because he wouldn't wake up and do something with me even though he had promised. And last year I got all dressed up only to sit and wait outside Rascals hopeing to sneak in. But went home unable to go in. The last three years I have bitched about Trevor was invited (along with me>)to go to a party and decide not to go. It sucks, I love Halloween, I love dressing up, going out as some one not yourself and having fun, I haven't been able to do that for so long now. But he told me this year if he gets invited somewhere we will go. Hope, hope. It's the same story with haunted houses. I love haunted houses, but I haven't gone for just as long. Maybe I should just stop waiting for Trevor to do what I want.

10:31 p.m. - 10-16-01
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