damik's Diaryland Diary

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How shall I re-arrange my life today?

Going through a range of emotions about what I want to do and how I want to do it.
As of my last update I had decided to bag my new job, and go to school. As I was going through assessing the cost I started to work myself into a panic attack. I knew I would have to still have a second job to keep up with the costs. But with the schedual I had set for myself I would be hard pressed to find a job that would be able to work around it. And the prospect of seaking out another job was causing me stress, too.
I was begining to think maybe I had been a bit rash in my choices. That maybe I should pull out of school again and re-think my position on that job. But my position is set. No matter how much I like the clients I worked with, I can't consientiously associate myself with the other center. There is no changing my mind.
So I got to thinking about the one other bridge I hadn't burned yet. No matter how much I talked about not wanting to go back, I still had the pre-school. After we had gotten the chance to get over our differences, the other co-workers and I got along fine, and I would get a pay increase if I went back.
So I re-arranged my school schedual to accomadate the job, and if it's OK that I'm late every Monday, I'm going back.
As I'm looking at this new schedual I've planned, it hits me that I could, if I could get over my moral outrage, still work the other job. Though that's not really in the cards, I was having a hard enough time with two full time jobs to begin with, I couldn't do two full time jobs and 12 credit hours of school. It just wouldn't work.

3:34 p.m. - 08-17-02
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