damik's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know

'Help me, I need you.'

I don't think my hero is comming. I think he turned a blind eye to me. Or he never existed at all. I'm much too old to be beleiving in fairy tales anyway. I don't think I can be rescued this time. The battles been fought and lost. Its time to give up. I don't know what else to do. I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of losing. I'm tired of waking up each morning and wondering why the new day had to come. I'm ready for glorious oblivion. I'm ready for nothingness. I'm ready for the end. All the desperation is gone. The need to hang on to anything, anything at all, its lost. All that there is left is the yearning. The yearning to give up the fight. I think the suicidal part of me killed my self-preservationest.

My arm burns. What started out as four little cuts ment to resemble kitten scratches has multiplied. It now covers the inside of my arm. If I accedently brush it up against my side my arm screams in pain. And then I smile, and brush it up against my side again.

1:03 a.m. - 06-18-2001
0 comments

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next