damik's Diaryland Diary

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Elephants

Ya know, if I knew before hand that I would ever be this pathitic I would have killed my self a long time ago.
It's sad really what I get excited about, what I can't get out of my head. It's not like I matter anyhow, I'm just an object of amusement. And that doesn't matter either it's just another way to hurt myself.
There is an elephant in the room. Not always, but sometimes there is an elephant. And I guess we aren't the kind of people who wouldn't talk about it and do something about it. It's not a bad thing really. It's not like I go to bed wishing I had left the elephant where it stood. Quite the oppsite. I rather enjoy talking about it and doing something about it. But in the end I let the elephant hurt me. I think it's because I don't understand it to begin with. I can't figure out why it's there. Why me, for god's sake?
It seems like, even a, I don't know what it seems like because I can't get past why me. Is there something I just don't see?
I get excited about nothing, and maybe that's what it is. I can't be the only one who gets excited about nothing.

10:01 p.m. - 07-21-02
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