damik's Diaryland Diary

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Find the Swing

Can't really start this entry. There are many deleated lines in my quest to figure out what I want to say.
I tried to get back into the whole exercise thing today. I had an appointment with my personal trainer. I told her I hadn't really been eating, that I hadn't really been sleeping, that I just started meds, and had been depressed for a while. Explained to her that's why I haven't made an apointment for over a month. No motavation. She assured me that I would feel better after I worked out, that I would have more energy and the like. Fitness buffs always say that.
Admitedly though I did feel a little better, for about fourty-five mins after. Then I crashed again. Guess my endorphins are as lazy as me. But I'm going to try to stop forgetting to eat. A girl can't live on soda alone.
We saw Windtalkers today. I think that's the best war movie I've seen. Most don't have real good charicter development, so you don't really give a damn if someone dies. You find yourself going "Oh, there goes another one." Instead of, you know, kind of leaning in, hoping that some one lives.
I was thinking of getting involved in some kind of cause. Doing something worthwile with my free time. Like Big Brothers/Big Sisters or something like that. Maybe feel a little more usefull.
I have no energy still, I've never been like this, I can't even get through the day with out wanting a nap. I'm exausted all the time.

11:20 p.m. - 10-25-02
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