damik's Diaryland Diary

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Apathy

I'm begining to think that people are more apathetic than I had prevously given them credit for. Or, maybe they just don't care about me. I can't beleave that I'm really that good at hiding. Surely some one would have noticed that I've been spiraling for sometime now. I keep telling myself that people only see what they want to see, but how could anyone be so blind.

The litarary charicter I most identify with is Sydney Carton. Like him I am incapable of my own help and my own happiness. I don't want to be that. I have resisted all my life the need to rely on others or to rely on prescriptions for my happiness. But I don't see it forthcoming. Maybe I should seak outside assistance.

Maybe I should get rid of the razor in my dayplanner.

What does it matter anyway. It will always be like this. Happiness is over rated anyway. The best artist are filled with angst.

12:46 p.m. - 06-15-2001
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