damik's Diaryland Diary

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Slowly killing Danie

I hate going home smelling so strongly of cigeretts. And Will smokes so much.
I don't mind it at all when I'm around people who smoke, but when I come home to my smoke free enviornment, I'm acutely awair of how strongly I smell. And its kind of icky.
I think I'm killing myself. Really. Today I can't do anything. I get up and take a shower, when I get out I'm so tired I just lie on the bed breathing heavy for an half hour, I get dressed and it kills me onto my ass, I can't get rid of this I'm so dizzy I'm going to pass out feeling. My eyes still feel like they are going to burst out of my head.
Oh, yah, thats why I came to the desk, I was going to get the Advil.
Hung out with Will all yesterday, I was planning on going home that evening, I left the music on and everything, but I ended up staying the night again. I fucken crashed hard. Hot and cold chills, cold sweats, all kinds of gross. Will held me and ran his fingers through my hair. I thought it was sweet, especally because of how sweaty I was.
So I figure I have probably one more day with him before he discards me, if that. Maybe yesterday was the last, though he says he's going to call on Tuesday.
I don't see why.

12:10 p.m. - 04-25-03
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