damik's Diaryland Diary

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Better Off

I want to thank every one that came to my defense or spoke up in support of the whole spelling issue. It used to be such a sore subject in my life, such a frustration, but lately I've figured it didn't matter much anyway, so when Shuck said something, I kinda let it eat at me more then I should have. I do that from time to time.
I haven't been feeling better, I just want to lay there in the dark and let the world pass me by. I can't feel like I matter, I've tried but it just doesn't work.
I can't help but think that the world would be better off with out me.
Trevor confronted me about my SI today. On Sunday I went out and bought myself a pack of blades, and he found the box. He accused me of not trying to stop. That hurt, I've resisted for a long time, and I stumbled... It made me wonder if I was daft to even try to resist in the first place. It's like a pressure valve. I've tried to substitute it with other things, but nothing works the same, with such concrete results.

11:29 p.m. - 04-25-02
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