damik's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm not sure I came up with why not to

I have to start a new, think of new rewards for myself. What should propell me to ten days this time. Considering I can't afford little shirts, and I have more then enough anyhow. Why would I want to get through a week without hurting myself? Why do I want to pretend I'm strong enough anyhow? I'm trying to find a reason to fight but I can't.
Not for some stupid meaningless promise I made, not for myself. Not for springtime and the prospect of t-shirts. The only person I have to worry about letting down is myself, and the thing is I'm not really let down. I didn't realize how much I missed it.
So what started out as an attempt to discourage me from cutting again ends up, well not.
The only thing that really discourages me it the strong desire not to have to change my counter. Not because I don't want to start over, but because I'm feeling so damned lazy I don't want to go in and change that little bit of HTML.

10:23 p.m. - 03-10-03
2 comments

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next