damik's Diaryland Diary

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Does my heart have an off switch?

The first time I met him I knew, I said if I let him he would hurt me. And of course he did. He lied to me, he trashed me to his friends, he fucken left me at a frat house. I know he's not really a nice person. The only thing he told me that was true was his name. And I fucked one of his best friends, then developed a massive crush on another, which incedently I still have. So when He showed up in the bar tonight, when they both showed up in the bar tonight, I was truely at a loss for what to do. I wanted to go talk to his friend, see if I don't know, there was a chance. Or at least to thank him for being a gentleman when we both were stranded. But I couldn't really approach him. But as he was getting ready take his friend home he asks me how long I was planning to stick around. He'd be back in 45 mins. Great.
So not only do I not take the chance to talk to this guy I'm crushing on, who doesn't strike me as someone who would hurt me, but the guy who does, who would, is going to see me back there later.
And what do I do when the lier gets back? Do I confront him? Throw a drink in his face? Commit some other act of revenge? No, Danie the Whore fucks him in his car. Call me sometime this week he says. I can't I deleated your number you lying SOB.
I guess I could look on the bright side, the good thing is now I know. He won't hurt me again because I won't get emotionally invested.

2:21 a.m. - 04-19-03
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