damik's Diaryland Diary

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What did I start out saying?

I wonder if I will ever remember what I was going to say when I started writing this.
I was probably wondering if I really was moving too fast. If maybe I should slow down.
Lets go over the facts again, I'm being super sensitive right now.
I had hoped that things might work out between Trevor and I eventually. I like to spend time with Colin, he makes me feel a way I've never felt before. Like I'm worth more then I thought I was. He makes me feel safe and wanted, and I know its just because whatever this thing is its new. Give me time and I'll make him hate me and hurt me like any other man in my life. I'm not worthy of love. I'm not lovable.
And for the life of me I still can't figure out what we are doing. Why would he want to be with me. We'll start out with that he'se been hurt before. He says he'll probably never even live with a woman again. Yet hes so compasionate and gentle with me. He'll hold me all night never once even broching the subject of sex unless I do first.
If he's just having fun wouldn't he want more then just to lay together?

7:19 p.m. - 03-05-03
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