damik's Diaryland Diary

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untill now

Did I do everything I could do to prevent this from happening?
I look around at all I have left, a spider crawls down the wall, I don't bother screaming or killing her, its more her place then mine anyway. The crack in the foundation seemed fitting to me. It seems so endless, there is nothing I can do either.
I'm actully going crazy, maybe it was because I gave up trying to hold it together, I am actully falling apart. I was driving today, down a road I always drive a route I always use, the world fuzzed out for not even a moment I looked up and had no idea where I was. I know this road, I own this road, yet for a moment I'm compleatly lost. Like some one dropped me out of the sky into a forgine city. It happened twice on that very ride. Didn't last more then a second, but it was very real to me.
The spider crawls further up the wall, I watch it wearily, wonder what it thinks of me moving in on his space. There is a pile of pillows and newspapers in the corner that I don't even want to touch. He makes a strange zig zagy pattern across the wall.
I think Lenny's depressed. He's acting even stranger lately, I mean for a bunny. He just throws himself to the ground where he's standing and lies there ears back to his head. I think we all are.
I've screwed up so much, do you ever sit back and wonder how you got here?
Time is just getting away from me now. Wasn't it just bairly 1:00? Miles is needing constant re-assurance. He doesn't like this move very much. No one does. I feel like I've tumbled compleatly backwards.

1:50 p.m. - 09-08-03
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