damik's Diaryland Diary

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Still Jobless

I can't stand there and look in the mirror. I know I've looked like shit the last few days, but its because I loath to see my reflection.
This is what comes when I let myself be OK with how I look. It hits hard and hurts when reality comes. I have to pour myself into a size 13. There, hows that for admiting how big I am. The worst is I've had the munchies all the time. Finished off too many a bag of Keebler Grasshoper cookise myself.
I found out that Trever has yet to cancle the gym so maybe an hour on the treadmill will cure me of this self hatered.
I need to get to the point where I'm not to lazy to work out.
I'm frusterated at the two job prospects I liked the best. Besides an acknowlagement of reciept of my resume I haven't heard word one back from either of them. I don't know what to do because they specifically said no phone calls, so I guess I just have to sit here and wait. I hate that I haven't gotten a second job yet, I feel worthless, like I'm just floating around wasting time. Oh yah, I am just floating around wasting time. I suck.
The winds kicked up outside and through the cracked window its making the perfect October howl. I have the blinds closed and the lights off. It fits better.

11:22 a.m. - 10-29-03
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