damik's Diaryland Diary

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I hate myself for pretending I'm more.

I knew that he would call me if he was home and he wanted to talk to me. I told myself that over and over. If he was home and wanted to talk to me he'd call. I had all but sold myself on the idea that he wasn't home. Its a bitter pill to swallow that he just doesn't want to talk to me.
This isn't a reason to hurt myself. Its stupid of me to even consider it. Fuck me, this really really sucks. I'm so stupid, I'm here crying like a girl over some guy I just bairly knew for a week, of course he wasn't intrested in me. I'm just a plaything to fool around with before something better comes along. And it only took a little over a week for him to realize that he was too good for me. I knew it the moment i saw him, I shouldn't have let myself think I could have mattered. Why did I let myself believe I mattered?
Why do I let myself forget where I stand? I'm nothing. I'm nobody. I'm fucken shit. Less.

10:54 p.m. - 03-31-03
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