damik's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It should count

Things still aren't going my way, I wish I could force them to or something. My account is overdrawn, it was my fault, I didn't track my debit charges close enough, so I went about $60 something over, but with the bank's charge of $35 dollars per, I am now in the hole $360 something. I owe practically everyone I know or have ever known money, and it's starting to get hard to see my way out of it.
I made Will watch Grosse Pointe Blank today, he hadn't seen it, I was pleased that he enjoyed it as much as I do.
Well the plan for tomorrow is to get on top of my apt's roof and watch the fireworks. I still don't totally get why we have fireworks on the 24th here in Utah. Some Morman thing I know, but... I just enjoy them. Its not my place to question why, I just sit back and watch the show.
I'm still hoping we'll be able to go to California at the end of August, but my financial situation is making it look iffy. Sucks being poor.
I had myself a self-indulgent breakdown today, things and life seemed to pour on top of me. As I write this too, I wonder how people who read it are going to take it. Usually I don't worry, but things have made me question it again. Things have made me want to curb my honesty again. I don't want to worry about that, I don't want to care what my intent is or how people are going to take it. I get this way from time to time usually for the same reasons, I just have to remind myself I really don't care.
My little fire fighter left the candle alone today. Will bought me some scented candles and I forgot to blow it out but Miles just let it burn. Usually he jumps right up to put it out. Maybe he didn't want to burn his little paw again, I'm lucky I didn't come home to a burned down apartment. That would have been iceing on the cake for the rest of my week.
I wish I could say I didn't care. I wish I didn't let some things affect me the way they do. I would like the hicups of life to roll off me like water off a duck, but it won't happen. I really am trying. No matter how much I've wanted to I've never given up, I think that should count for something. I never gave up.

12:07 a.m. - 07-24-03
1 comments

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next