damik's Diaryland Diary

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I actully like myself

I came to the realization today, or at least I voiced the realization today and it hit me what it really ment. I realized that I actully like and respect myself. I realize that I've finally figured out that I'm important. Not that I don't have thoughts of hurting myself anymore, or that I haven't thought about dying. I still do sometimes. Hurting myself I guess is more then sometimes. Mostly though the thoughts hurting myself isn't because I think I'm a bad person who deserves to be punished. Its to escape overwhelming fealings that I don't think I can deal with. The last time I had to stop myself from thinking about killing myself was with the whole pg thing, it occured to me at the time that it would just be easier to kill myself. That was just a passing thought though.
I am still having an issue with my weight though. Having trouble fighting the thoughts that I'm fat. I know I weigh more then I aught to, I'm overweight. But the thing is I have to do something about it insetead of just putting myself down.
I enjoyed Oliver! it was fun. We got the understudy for Oliver, but he did a good job, just wasn't as cute as the usual boy.
I really don't have much more to say, my Daddy didn't arrive in town yet, the word is sometime tomorrow.
And suck to Will who doesn't believe me about the losing time thing. I know the difference to pfftt to you.

12:01 a.m. - 09-20-04
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