damik's Diaryland Diary

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The wheels have been set in motion

We both have things that we have to work on, I get so frustrated easily, angry, moody, sad. He's been short, unsure, irritated. And we are going to work on them. But I want him to be sure about the relationship, I want him to know with out a doubt that he can spend forever with me. Most men cheat, he tells me. I don't doubt that it's true. What I've eliminated is that it's cheating. We are not breaking up, it isn't a break or trial separation or any think even close to the like. We will still be together in this relationship, with all the rights, privileges, and responsibilities that come with it, but we are not exclusive. I gave the ring back, I told him that we aren't to speak of marriage untill he was actually ready to commit with out freaking out. I told him to get it all out of his system. Go to clubs, meet women, flirt, woo, wax them, what ever. I am serious, absolutely serious. He has free reign. Like what his brother Sam did, he saw more then one woman at a time. And when he's ready to commit just to me, forever, then he'll give me the ring back, he'll propose again. So he'll have a chance to "know" other women before he's committed to me. So he won't regret missing out on the opportunity of experiencing other people. And if he finds some one else that steals his heart, God forbid, then I will let go. And this endeavor will have been a failure. But I chose to believe that we will be together forever, that we were ment to be with on an other, and only one another, but maybe not yet. And if this time is what he needs to be able to plan our wedding to commit his life. Then it was worth it.

11:30 p.m. - 05-27-02
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