damik's Diaryland Diary
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One fucked up mutation
You're trying to understand my impulse to cut myself and for six years I've been trying to understand it, too. And the closest I can come is that qoute by C. Blout:
If you cannot see my pain
To wear it on my body
Says what words cannot explain"
It's not real if I cannot touch it, see it, smell it. These emotions, the anger, the self loathing, none of it's real 'cause it's not tangable. I don't deal in the abstract. And thats what emotions are.
If ever S.I. coul be said to be heredatairy, my case might be it. My mother cut, and her mother before her. My sister did, though only for attention. One of my cousins killed himself by cutting to carelessly. My mom's side of the family has been distroying themselves in one way or another for generations. It's like with genetic mutation, if the mutation is too screwed up it will start destroying it's self.
I'm just one fucked up mutation.
? - 12-11-01
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I haven't cut myself in:
Why the Counter
|
older entries: When. I called when! - 11:27 p.m. , 10-07-13 Intrusive - 3:31 p.m. , 09-12-13 It isn't working today. - 2:21 p.m. , 09-09-13 Sleep, SI, Stress, and Pain, yeah, I hit them all. - 4:46 p.m. , 08-09-13 I hate this game. I don't want to play anymore. - 2:59 p.m. , 05-29-13 |
