damik's Diaryland Diary

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I know where I stand

Well I know where we stand now, and it's just where we aught to be. Friendship. Sometimes a little extra phyical, but we both agree that its too soon for anything more then friendship.
He wanted to know my fanticies. I'm still having trouble comming up with some. My fanticies consist of me feeling like I'm worth more then a meaningless roll in the hay.
Like the times that Andrew and I have done anything. It has actully been literally wham, bam, thank you ma'am. Its like "I'm done now, get out of my car, off my couch, out of the office, and go home now." Yah, I'm worth plenty.
My fanticies consist of a slow seduction, gentle touches, and kisses where it drives me nuts. In my fanticies he is intrested in being with me because he finds me beautiful and exciting, not because he's high and has a hankering for more then just the munchies. He wants to explore my body because he finds each curve inchanting. He touches me for my plesure, not his own. And he doesn't send me home right afterward.
Not to disparage Trevor, we had good times as well as bad. But he always struck me as a selfish lover. It seemed that every touch was ment to further his excitement, not mine. While I'm sure he didn't intend it that way, and it was as much my fault for not speaking up, I don't know, its the way it felt.
My fanticy is me feeling good both physically as well as emotionally. And Colin comes as close as I'd ever thought possible.
He would like to invite another girl along.
I don't even know what to say to that.

1:00 p.m. - 03-08-03
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