damik's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Over all a good night

Bing and cut, bing and cut. Yep, the makings of a great evenimg.
I went for a walk. I was feeling restless at the club and I just took off. Found myself in a place where I was dodging vomit and avoiding eye contact with people muttering to themselves. By the time I realized where I was I was a distance from my car. I tried to call for a ride, but everyone was either too inebreated or wasn't answering. I stuck to well lit streets and walked back. I got to my car unmolested and for once felt glad that I live in Utah.
Sat in my car cutting and munching on stale chips and choloclate. Little superficial cuts burning on my arm. Fuck I hate myself. There went 166 days.
It all seems to crumble. I could have handled it if he didn't hate me like he does. He calls over and over with angry words looking for a fight. He accused me of cleaning out the account just to spite him. And other hurtfull things.
Thats not why I did it though. I really can't handle this alone thing. I was all about to call Bob and invite him over. Its sad when I consider a smelly, satanic guy over an empty bed.
I decided ultamitly that sleeping alone is preferable.

12:23 a.m. - 03-08-03
0 comments

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next