damik's Diaryland Diary

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Gak

So I've already thrown up a bit today, actually I spent quiet a miserable night, becaues I needed to last night, but I crashed at Will's, and I cannot allow myself to do such things at a guys house. Ah, all night in the fetal position, desperatlly needing to throw up, but not. Its fun.
Still waiting on the results of the blood tests. I'm getting impatient, I want them to tell me it's all in my mind so I can go on being psychosimaticlly sick in peice. At this point I wouldn't even mind if my sister was right with her whole "epstine-barr" guess. At least it would be something. At least I'd know what I've been telling myself to fucken get over.
But now, I'm just a wuss. Its nothing. Now if I'm upright for more then an half and hour I think I aught to drag myself to work. I think its a good think I don't have my car now, or I would have already. Scared some pre-schoolers. Honestly I look like something they forgot to burry.
And yet Will still runs his fingers through my hair and kisses me softly. No go away Danie untill you look human again.
And he doesn't want to rescue me. He doesn't want to be my to be my white knight. Honestly I don't think I have ever encountered someone who didn't want to hurt me or save me. Its a nice refreshing change.
I mean not to run this whole point into the ground but he actually knows that I'm the only one capable of saving myself.
So the question is, do I risk more throwing up for chocolate?

12:15 p.m. - 04-29-03
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