damik's Diaryland Diary

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I should set him free

My eyes still burn from crying. It still seems strange to smile.
I know he hates it when people get depressed, I want to be a happy person for him.
I'm afraid it's all ending.. Yesterday he said something about how he looks at the apartments in the aves. for if I ever kick him out.
Not like makes an appointment and checks out the inside or anything, but considers.
Is he looking for an out?
He asked me if he could go to a movie with Jessica on Saturday. What could I say, but it's fine with me. And maybe it will be fine, maybe I won't spend the whole night wondering if he's kissing her again.
Am I holding onto a dream? If I open my hands will he still be there? Does he want to still be here?
His quote on his profile says "If you love some one you should set them free, but it sure is hard to do" It's from Brooks and Dunn's Long Goodbye, maybe it's me who should set him free. I'm the one holding on. And it really isn't fair to him. I don't think he wants to be with me anymore. I think he stays out of pity.
I want him to be happy. He should be with the wonderful, beautiful girl. Someone that just shines, someone that he's proud to be with. And that some one isn't me.
I should give up, we had a good run, but I'm not the one he wants. I should let go. I should set him free.
I shouldn't control him; force him to be with me. I shouldn't be forced on anyone.
I should let him be happy.

10:37 p.m. - 04-11-02
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