damik's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We tried to talk it out

So we talked tonight. More truthfully we talked in circles. We didn't get anywhere. We both said we wanted to make it work, but we couldn't see how to. I told him how much he has been hurthing me lately, and how it is unfair for him to expect me to just set it all aside an we'd be all better. He is unwilling to give me the time I need to let go of all the hurt I'm feeling, and I can't give him the phyical affection he wants me to give him right now untill I let go of the hurt I'm feeling. It's like a trap. Its like we're stuck in a hedge maze going around and around in circles.

Truth be told, I'm kinda scared of him. He broke the keybox by our door. Just violently ripped it from the wall. It flew across the room. A good six feet. He's only hit me a few times, and never with any long term results. But When ever he gets real angry like that, he still scares me.

Not last sunday, (Day Before Yesterday) but the sunday before (Father's Day) he shoved the computer chair right into my head. Did I already write about that? He rammed the chair with such angry force. I told him that it scared me that maybe it was esclating, that maybe it was getting worse, he got so mad about that. Later he told me that I was the kind of girl who never find a boyfriend that wouldn't hit me. That hurt so much. I don't know if I can forgive him for that. I know I can't right now.

So in the morning I'm going to have to do something I told myself I would never do, I will have to call my Opa and ask if I could borrow some money so I can get into my own place, because I can't do it on my own.

1:28 a.m. - 06-26-2001
0 comments

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next