damik's Diaryland Diary

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Some one who loves me

I am trying my hardest to make sure that Trevor isn't able to read my diary. I know that if he goes to someone else's computer he can read it, but I feel safer knowing that he can't read it hear at home. I made him upset because I was locking him out. He isn't talking to me now.

I was seriously thinking about reconsiling with him. For as long as I care to remember, he was the only one I ever wanted to be with. Its just recently that he keeps hurting me over and over that makes me want to end it. He wants it to be more. He wants me to tell him its because I have someone already lined up, or that its because of some other reason. In truth I don't feel like he really does love me. Some one who loved me wouldn't have treated me the way he treated me last night. He wasn't fair to me. I admit, I could have been more fair to him, but I wanted to go out, have fun, and forget about life for a while. And he hated me for it. He could have made other plans, he could have gone to the party that he was invited to. He could have gone to the StarCraft torny. he was asked to join. He could have called one of his friends and just hung out. He could have called the girl who's phone number he got. But he did none of these things and then blamed me for it.

Some one who loved me wouldn't diliberatly say things to hurt me. He wouldn't call me a bitch or a slut. He wouldn't say that I'm lying to him all the time. He wouldn't be so mean. And he would be more suportave of me.

I don't believe that I'm asking for too much. I want trust. I want support. I just want someone who loves me.

8:39 p.m. - 07-08-2001
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