damik's Diaryland Diary
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I think about who I promised I'd call, wether my body will scream for oxygen in the five or ten minuts it will take. I think wether he'll hate me for giving up, and if thinking about it is giving up already. I think about where I'll be to do it. If I'll do it at my mother's or find somewhere that has meaning to me. I don't really feel anything right now, save a feeling of relief at the idea it could be over soon. I tell myself that it is not an option, that it isn't a plan and I'm not going to do it, but myself already seems to have made the decision. It would be so easy too. Escape into nothingness. And I'm a selfish enough bitch not to care what anyone else would feel about it
8:29 p.m. - 09-30-03
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older entries: When. I called when! - 11:27 p.m. , 10-07-13 Intrusive - 3:31 p.m. , 09-12-13 It isn't working today. - 2:21 p.m. , 09-09-13 Sleep, SI, Stress, and Pain, yeah, I hit them all. - 4:46 p.m. , 08-09-13 I hate this game. I don't want to play anymore. - 2:59 p.m. , 05-29-13 |
