damik's Diaryland Diary

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A change

I was sitting here thinking about what Luna wrote in my guestbook, how I haven't cut in quite a while, and I have to say, I don't quite agree. I guess where I am now, 20 days is a long time and I have gone a while not cutting, but I once went two years not cutting. I wished I was there again. Strong enough to resist the urge, but my counter isn't exactly honest, because cutting is only a small, small part of it. I bruise myself, I've resorted to biting on occasion when there is nothing else nearby to hurt me with. But Saturday night I sat there with my strike anywhere matches and I burned myself in six different places. Four of them good enough to blister. But that doesn't get counted. Only the cuts. I have been toying with the idea of changing the words from "I haven't cut myself" to "I haven't hurt myself" had I written that before? But I don't know. I would have to keep track of myself better that way.

2:16 p.m. - 07-31-2001
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