damik's Diaryland Diary

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Does anyone know where I can buy a life?

I was having some stress lastnight. Started worrying that I may not be able to handle the job. I hate doubting myself like that. I like knowing that I do a good job and I'm working where I aught to be working. But then the days come when I get frusterated, I get angry, and I worry that I may not be able to keep my emotions in check. My finger nails dig into my palms. The good thing about having these acrillics is that they are so thick I don't draw blood when I dig.
I called my mother and she talked me down, which was good.
I'm going through cell withdrawel, I haven't paid my phone bill because we had to fix the struts on Trevor's car. Lets see, my obsesssion, or Trevor's safty. It's a hard one. But anywhoo I can't pay it untill next Friday, I am totally out of tuch, it's not a good feeling.
I worry that I identify myself by my job too much, like that's all I am. I am what I do. I need to find extracariccualr activities. I keep saying I need to get out more, go hiking, hang out with people. Life really shouldn't consist of just going to work and staring at the TV when you get home. Oh, and the naps, lets not forget the naps. I'm still doing that more then I aught to.
I think I'm going to start sending in applications for Trevor in other states. I want to get out of Utah. Do you think if he got a job offer in California he'd even think of going?

2:52 p.m. - 01-12-03
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