damik's Diaryland Diary

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From day to day

Ok, Wendsday I was going to write how happy I was and how great it is to be able to look into the mirror and like who I am. To be able to walk with my head held high and my spirits flying.
Yesterday I was going to write how much I hated myself, how I wish I could sit down with a knif and cut every inch of fat off my body. How I wanted to rip my face from my skull and never eat again.
Today I don't know yet how I feel, except maybe that I wish it was Wednsday. I have no idea what the change is from one day to another, or why I hate myself when the day before I enjoyed every part of me. I long for consistancy in my self image. I long to always know that I'm worthy and not wonder. Do you think it's ever possible?
I don't know about this goldmemeber feature where I can now at a private entry. It's something I have always wanted, it would allow me to be even more honest, and post the entry I always wanted to post, but then I've kept it locked up inside me for this long, it seems rather pointless to post it.

10:41 a.m. - 01-17-03
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