damik's Diaryland Diary

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And on the other side

Nothing good ever happens when I agree to go to work on my day off. It sucks rotten apples. I swear, if it isn't one thing it's another. I spent four hours looking for a backpack to calm down one of the guys, and I never found it. Egads and ulch. Why can't it be a simple make dinner, clean apartments, and leave? Why do good deads have to become so involved.
I missed out on spending the rest of the day with Trevor, I missed going to the gym and renting a movie. At least I don't have to miss out on curling in bed with him untill he has to wake up a three.
Did I mention that I figured out how to finish my tattoo? I don't know if I've even finished the whole story or what, but I didn't get it done when I went in the first time, people were calling, and I was supposed to go out to dinner. And I was all together antsy. So I only got half of it done. Looking at it, I decided, I don't know I couldn't really put my finger on it, but it didn't seem right. It wasn't that it was bigger then I had imagined, or even that it was higer. I thought maybe Trevor had nailed it when he said it wasn't girly enough, but even that's not it. I wasn't looking for girly.
I wanted it to be ironic and reflect my personallity. Life hurts, there is no easy way through it. But it was also supposed to be a symbol of hope for me. I'm over 100 days strong and counting. But it's too dark for a sign of hope. It's darker then I had wanted it to be.
What I figured is on one side yes life can be prickly, it can hurt, and it can be hard to venture through unscarred, but on the other side...
Well I couldn't really think of what I wanted to have the actual other side reflect. I've spent a week thinking about it. Pondering the possiballity of the thorns morphing into ribbons, or something soft and welcoming. But it didn't seem right at all. I considered the Chinese symbol for courage, grace, happiness, or peace, but none seemed to quiet fit. So I did a google image search for symbols of life. I came up with a lot of images many of the aunk and then I saw this:

The Celtic Tree of Life. Without the lacy border though, instead I'm going to have the thorns morph into ash leaves that will frame the tree on the inside of my ankle.
To me the Tree of Life says so much, it says I can be strong, I can remember my past, and grow move on. And that's just the tip of it. It means so much I could never think to put into words. It's a wonder I didn't think of it before. I'm actully pretty excited about it, can't wait to go in and get it done.

11:13 p.m. - 01-10-03
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