damik's Diaryland Diary

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Halloween Traditions Die Hard

So once again I spent Halloween night crying my self to sleep. We did go some where. But the night didn't start off good to begin with. He accused me of lying again. I was talking to my mother and he was listening to the conversation. I said something about "not involving myself in such thing." And he wanted to know what we were talking about. I must admit when I talk to my mother I only listen to about half of what she says and the rest of the time I'm just mindlessley responding. So I had absolutly no idea what I wouldn't involve myself in. I told him that, I told him that I couldn't remember. But he wouldn't beleave me. Then he makes this big show of saying that he beleaves me, which frusterates me to no end. So we got into this big ass fight and I told him that I couldn't be with some one who didn't trust me. When I finally figured out what I was saying that I wouldn't involve myself in, I couldn't tell him, because he would think I was just making up a story. It was Kareoke. I won't sing in public.
But we worked it out and we decided to go out anyway. (I did tell him it was Kareoke...) We were suppposed to go to Brian's house, Jenny had invited us to a party there. They were running late with trick or treating, so we stayed at my mother's longer then he probably liked. She did my make up, one thing about my mother is she loves to do my make up but Trevor hates it. He doesn't like how it turns out. My mom wanted to sneak me in to a bar, Trevor wanted to go to Area 51 with Melissa a girl he met from diaryland. We desided to go to Area after we got done at Brian's.
Trevor didn't seem to be having any fun at the party, and I was actully looking forward to going to the club with him so we left early. But when we got there all I could see is gothics or people who weren't wearing costumes. I didn't want to stick out like a sore thumb in my Wench costume. I got nervous. Yes, I acted like a baby. I just needed a confidance booster and I never got it. And I guess Trevor didn't have the patence for me, I had been driving him nuts all night, so we left. I really wanted to go. So I spent some time in the car when we got home cutting, and the rest of the night crying. I ruined it again. I didn't want to, but I ruined it again.

8:56 a.m. - 11-01-01
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