damik's Diaryland Diary

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Lonely

It never gets easier. Seeing him, talking to him. I think we could really still be friends, but each time I go over I realize fully what I've lost.
I know I've gained some too. But I honestly thought I had found the love of my life at sixteen. And while I enjoy the attention I get, the excitement of meeting new people, the mutual attraction, I can't help but think I will never find what Trevor and I had. And I can tell myself that it's a good thing, we only hurt each other.
I tell myself maybe if we both grow some, but I don't think so. I've lost him, and it was my choice.
It also hurts the friends I've lost, the ones that went with him. I don't know if he realizes it, but he's got some good one's. Adam and Sam I'll miss them both the most. And I feel like a fool, because I'm crying over these friends I'm going to miss when I'm not even sure the'll feel my absence. I don't know hat it will phase them at all.

11:09 p.m. - 03-17-03
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