damik's Diaryland Diary

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Stressed spelled backwards is Desserts

I'm not sure I can take it, it was boring as all hell, I wanted to bail more then several times in the day and they want me to drive the big ass van tomorrow. I just want to call up and tell them I'm never coming back.
I am actully in a state of hyperactive panick. Complete stress where I snap at every little thing. Just fly off the handle. Sucks to be Trevor right now. And I feel really bad, I do, but I'm going fucken nuts. If I thought I was stressed and panicked before I started the job, I'm far worse today then yesterday. I really, really, really don't want to do it.
This is the time I should get a tattoo though if I decide to. This is the time that I make the worst scars. The worst bruises, the worst everything. Because it doesn't really hurt. I need to make the pain more intence to actully notice it.
I'm going out of my fucken mind. I'm going to have behaviours. It's going to be a real fight in to work tomorrow.
Maybe I shouldn't, maybe I should just call and say I can't do it, I can't work the job.
I want to smile and handle everything, but I just don't think I can.

11:04 p.m. - 07-30-02
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