damik's Diaryland Diary

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Nerves of nerf

As perdicted, I'm in full-fledged I don't want a second job panick. My mind is filling with all the things that I wished I had done in my time off. I'm already missing the day off's Trevor and I shared. And being able to sleep in.
I know, though, even if I did have a few more weeks off, or even a few more months off I wouldn't actully do the things I want. I'm all about planning, no action. That's why you don't have to worry about me killing myself, or even starving myself. I'll plan it out to the T. But I don't go through with things.
Speaking of things I'll probably never go through with. I've been sketching designs for the tattoo. I haven't really come up with anything great but I'm trying. I know exactly what I want and I can come up with a picture in my mind, but I can't transfer it on to paper.
I wanna go AWOL. If you could see me, I'm doing this little bouncing thing at my computer desk, whining to myself. I don't want a second job. I don't want to be stuck working two jobs for the rest of my life.
Trever says I should just think positively. I should just tell myself how excited I am for this new oppertunity, how happy I am to be starting a new job tomorrow. Even that comes out as a whine.

10:55 p.m. - 07-29-02
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