damik's Diaryland Diary

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Just don't look back

There are reasons I don't like to look back on what I've written. There are reasons I want to leave is lie and never go back. It is rather depressing, my near recent journaling, down and dark. So I don't look back.
I'd expect you'd know, but I'll say it anyway, my private life (my diary), just like my public life isn't a true representation of myself. What bothers me most looking back at my entries is that there is precious little of my sense of humor. Jokes, barbs, wry observations, it's not that present. It's surprisingly absent from most of my computer interactions, where as in real life I wouldn't hesitate to make a smart-assed comment. On the computer, I'm so afraid of offending some one, in email or AIM form that I'll keep it to myself. And it seems to have extended to my diary writing.
The sun's shining. Summer is upon us, I welcome the season. I want to go hiking, I want to go camping. I want to do like we've talked about for five years and rent a wave runner and hit the reservoir. I hope my big summer plans don't lead to a big summer letdown.
Did I mention that we finally hired a new guy at TURN? He seems like a real nice guy. Yesterday we had a chat about religion. He doesn't believe in God at all, more like the theory present in the Final Fantasy movie. The energy force thing. He calls God a security blanket. I can totally see his point, but as a child at heart, many times, I need that security blanket.

3:25 p.m. - 05-04-02
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