damik's Diaryland Diary

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Half Finished

Long nights spent staring at the closet wishing I was asleep. Waking up more worn out then I felt when I went to bed. I haven't the desire to do anything but fake it badly. And I do. I see how badly I fake it through the look of concern in his eyes. I'll be OK, I just need some good rest. Don't know why I can't sleep at night, but when I do I wake up from disturbing dreams that really aren't that disturbing come the light of day. Vivid dreams with imagery that bothers me, that before they fade with the morning I wonder why I was jolted from my sleep by that. I'm falling behind on my life, every aspect of it is piling up and I'm not even trying to keep up with it. I hate how lazy I am. My cat won't let me write this entry, he keeps jumping into my lap demanding attention. He is purring loudly, he still has the sad little squeek he developed when he got sick from the animal shelter. You can't here it when he's purring softly, but when he really gets into it you can hear the damage that was done to his nose. I tried to write the other day, but I'm stuck. He produced a little green net and I don't know how to go on from there. I lost my candance or what ever word I'm searching for there. And I'm going to just go back to bed, because I can sleep better in the late morning then I can at night. One last look around the room at everything I've left half finished and then sleep.

8:36 a.m. - 08-28-03
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