damik's Diaryland Diary

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A few short hours

The thing is even when I can look into the mirror and actually like what I see I don't really, it's like it's not really me. I'm suprised at who this strange person staring back at me.
So tonight is my last night being 21. How can this be? I am so panicking right now.
Sick isn't, I freak out at this age. I should be enjoying my still youth, not mourning each year past. I wanted to go out tonight and count down the hours untill I was 22, couldn't find people to go with me. I won't find anybody to go tomorrow either. Or Friday, I'm sure. So I'm left with the choice of going alone, or not going at all. I'm not sure. I don't want to spend another Birthday feeling sorry for myself. I don't want to spend another birthday crying. And if I go alone I'll get piano player pity again, expecially if I reveal that it's my birthday.
When I go to get my tattoo finished I should see how much it would cost to get loser on my forhead.
Sorry I'll ease up on the poor Danie BS. Maybe I'll go to some under 21 club with Bruce, or even somewhere with my mother or Stacy. Not what I really had in mind. Each year I wish for some kind of party but it never happens. I guess it's because I never plan it. I wish I live the kind of life where a bunch of my friends would get to gether and plan a party for me.

9:41 p.m. - 01-29-03
2 comments

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