damik's Diaryland Diary

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Bad mood rant

Mornings suck ass. I told myself that I wasn't going to whine about being sick in my diary anymore, because I've been doing it all too much.
God I hate myself.
Where did that thought come from?
But I'm sick again. My throat hurts so badly I can bairly swallow. My ears feel like they are filled with increadable pressure. And my eyes are burning again.
Don't I have anything better to talk about then this?
Its arts fest week at the school again. I love this week.
I'm going to miss the pre-school. Such a change from last year when I couldn't wait for it to be over. Its hard to imagine what I'm going to do with my days after this.
We get to go around and particapate in some fun activities with the kids. Oh and there are snow cones and spun sugar, what could be better.
I think I have some cough syrup in my medicine cabnit.
Sucks that I won't have enough time after work to take a nap. Wonder if I should blow off Dr. Tom again and use that hour.
Probably not. I need caffine. I wonder if that is contributing to my tiredness. I've been shying away from it as per Dr's suggestion.
I'm not eating well either. Had a pasta bowl for dinner last night and I didn't get through more then a few bites. I hope I get over it soon because I think I'm supposed to go out to eat tonight.
I've ventured into the relm of flat assed broke. I get paid friday at the pre-school, I hope I get paid then at TURN too. But this is going to be my mirco check, and I have most of my expences this time. Fucken bites ass.
This is an incredably negitive entry, but so fucken what. I don't like myself. But I think I already said that. I just want to crawl back into bed. Let the world pass me by and all that shit.
Tonight at 8:45ish p.m. it will have been 60 days. Yippee for me. (note that was not actuall excitement, but sarcasam) I'm told that they are little victories. They should be celebrate and the like. How can I celebrate what seems hollow and pointless? So I've made it 60 days BFD I've still wanted to. I'm still not strong enough to kill the desire.
Wow I'm going to be a bitch at work today.

8:19 a.m. - 05-20-03
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