damik's Diaryland Diary

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Fighting reasons

A definate sign that I'm not doing O.K..
I was walking along when I heard a piece of glass skittle across the sidewalk under my feet. I stopped, stooped to pick it up and stood there staring at it in my hands. My finger tracet it's smooth sharp edges, I turned it over as I turnd the thoughts over in my mind. I had been looking for it earlier, realizing it and yet not. Like the other day, if I had had my purse I would have used my blade. The desire to cut is right there within reach, how can I push it away without grabbing hold?
My hand thightend around the shard, forever passed in the moment it took me to find the will to cast it aside. As I continued my walk it glinted from the bush as if to wink and say "I'll be here when you need me"
If I could distract myself for a second, for a minut, for an hour. If I could get through this feeling maybe I could be alright. I can get to sixty days.

8:32 p.m. - 05-17-03
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