damik's Diaryland Diary

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My new schedual

Rain drizzled on my cheeks and the wind blew a chill through my bones. I walked from one apartment to another in a haze, frusterated about where I stand in my job. Ah for it to be blindingly obvious that I have no standing and am nothing in the eyes of my boss.
My mind curled around the idea of the valve. Release, it wispered, cut. Urging me all night release, cut. Had I thrown away the blade in my purse long before now I could have dismissed it as not an option but there it sat in its little pocket wrapped in its paperboard cover.
I played the waiting game. Distracting myself for whatever time I could until I felt overwhelmed again.
Dear Abby,
I feel like you don't give a shit about the four years of dedicated service I've given you. I resent the fact that you give prefrence to an employee who lies, manipulates, and is ineffectual at her job just because she has her nose so far up your ass you can't tell where she ends and you begin. I don't care enough to warn you that she is the kind of woman who will make her way up the company on the backs of other people. And while she's standing on mine now she will be eye-balling yours. Instead I'll say fuck you. I hope she breaks it under her nasty, rolly-polly, ugly, fat ass. And you can both bite me.
Respctfully yours,
Danie
Time to start working on my Abby voodoo doll again. I have anger issues to work on.
I feel as though I'm worthless in the eyes of my boss. She doesn't see the contrabution I make to the program and at every chance Ass Suck the nappy troll takes what credit she can. I need to move on, find a better place. Greener pastures. Yah I've started to really hate my job and the thought of going in to work.
So I work myself up, or down depending on where is closer, and my brain whispers release, cut.
We'll see how sucessfull I am at ignoring it.

10:36 a.m. - 04-20-04
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